Why Asking For Help Sucks

why asking for help sucks
Do you know one of the things I hate doing? It’s asking for help because asking for help sucks!

I’ve come to really think about this over the past couple of weeks while I’ve been unwell and letting everything get on top of me, I toyed with the idea of asking for help but I just couldn’t pull myself to do it.

I get a huge case of the guilts when it ever comes to the point where I probably should ask for help. These are usually the reasons I forego the help of anyone (sound familiar?):

  1. I don’t want to put anyone else out
  2. Other people are snowed under just like me, so why should I be the one to get help
  3. I like to think that I can handle everything and pull through
  4. Most of my family and friends work full time, they’re busy enough
  5. I don’t like to feel that I have lost control of things

As I look back over the years, even way back to my childhood, I can remember having much the same feelings. I have declined help if anyone offered it and have always felt as though asking for help (and even accepting it) is a sign of weakness.

asking for help

Call me ‘Miss Independent’ {insert Kelly Clarkson’ ‘Miss Independent’ song here} because for some stupid reason I’ve always felt like I have to do everything myself. God knows why I’ve always tried to do things the hard way, I really don’t know what I’ve been trying to prove, I definitely know I’m not Super Woman!  As a Mum who balances a household, a toddler, two blogs and my own business, I know that this mindset MUST shift.

If someone were to ask me for help, I wouldn’t think it was a burden and I need to start thinking of others the same way.  I need to approach the people close to me that have offered their help previously to which I have declined. I have to help others when  I can for the sake of good karma and I have to believe that people really do care.

Asking for help most definitely opens up vulnerability but what I do know is that sometimes we need to let our guard down to take the next step forward. For me this is the hardest part.

This quote by Lena Horne definitely sums it up because a person carrying the load all on their own will one day eventually break and I definitely don’t want that to be me. Don’t let it be you either.

asking for help

Do you suck at asking for help?

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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11 Comments

  1. Katie O'Keefe
    September 10, 2014 / 1:11 pm

    You have so many people that care for you and want to support you! Letting people help you is not a burden on them – it is an opportunity for them to serve you and show you that they care for you! Next time – pick up the phone and dial my number!!

    • September 10, 2014 / 9:34 pm

      Thanks Katie. x

  2. September 10, 2014 / 6:31 pm

    Yep, I understand where you’re at. I’ve found it really helps to think of it from the helper’s point of view: it’s such a good feeling to be able to help out someone who needs it. Especially someone who cares about you. Try saying ‘yes, please’ for their sake, if not for yours.

    • September 10, 2014 / 9:34 pm

      That’s how I have to start thinking I think, turn the tables around.

  3. Kathy www.yinyangmother.com
    September 11, 2014 / 9:46 pm

    I hope you are getting better Eva – it is up to all of us to be open to helping and being helped. Makes it a whole let easier when we need to ask/offer. X

  4. Pinky Poinker
    September 12, 2014 / 4:59 pm

    Yes I do. It took me a long time to even let someone make me a cup of coffee. It’s part of my personality and at my age I don’t think I’ll ever change. I like to give help though.

  5. Denise Mooney
    September 12, 2014 / 8:06 pm

    I was just talking about this with a friend today and we came to the conclusion that we don’t like admitting that we’re not in control of things, especially when other people make it look so easy. But asking for help when you need it is actually the strong thing to do, as well as offering it to others when you think they might need it x

  6. September 12, 2014 / 9:02 pm

    Oh this so resonated with me!
    And all the way back from teenage years too.
    I don’t know if it is pride or being a people pleaser or not wanting to put people out, but I find it really hard to ask for help x

  7. September 13, 2014 / 4:52 pm

    This resonated a lot with me, Eva. I often find that when I tell a friend that I was ‘sick last week’ they say to me ‘oh why didn’t you call me, I could have come and helped’, but the reality is that, like you, almost all of my family and friends are really busy themselves. I think in our society, people often feel that they should turn to outside sources like their GP or Anglicare and places like that for help and support, rather than turning to those they know. It’s such a shame that our communities are not stronger. Being a parent can be a very isolating experience.

  8. September 13, 2014 / 7:15 pm

    The other side of the accepting help thing which I think is often forgotten is the joy you are denying others when you refuse their help. People like to help. It makes them feel good. If someone offers then they are able to help you so, I reckon, give them this pleasure. xS

    oh, and I’d love to help you too. xx