This week is an emotion filled one. Not only is my baby girl growing at supersonic speed and now five months old, my baby boy turns five years old and has his last day of kindy tomorrow because it’s off to prep next year.
For me, Master E going off to prep is bittersweet. It’s my baby growing into a little boy, but I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I wish I could just make time stop.
Master E was my only child for four and a half years. For almost two of those years I battled postnatal depression and couldn’t give my 100% and so I feel a sense of sadness that this is it, his baby/toddler/kindy years are done and it’s onto big kid stuff now.
Perhaps one day he will read this letter from me because I know that now he really wouldn’t understand it…
To my mischievous yet kind E,
It seems like only yesterday that your daddy and I raced to the hospital, not knowing we were going to meet you in five hours. You came early and you were so tiny. The tubes coming out of your nose made me cry and I remember sitting in the Special Care Unit with you wanting to desperately get home in time for Christmas. We made it by two days.
Time went by in a flash, you went from my tiny little baby to my chunky little bubba who could simply never sit still. I remember how sick you were with chest infections all the time in your first two years and how you couldn’t hear properly, but you were a little fighter and it’s been the best thing seeing you nice and healthy and talking properly since your adenoid and grommet surgery. I want you to know that although I wasn’t very well in your first two years, you still meant everything to me and you entering my life has changed me for the better.
I remember having to put you into childcare for the first time, I was a mess. It hurts me to think back to when you had horrible separation anxiety issues at a particular childcare centre, it was tough on you and me and back then I honestly couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
But here we are sweet boy, I followed my mummy instincts and found you a childcare centre full of absolutely amazing people and friends who have helped you thrive. I am so very proud of the little boy you have become. You are so well liked, I see the other kindy children’s eyes light up when you enter the Kindy yard. I know you don’t like the attention and feel uneasy, you are still such a sensitive little thing, but you are such a likeable little boy, so caring and so willing to start new friendships with children you don’t even know, even if it may seem hard at first.
You are wise beyond your years Little E. Sometimes I wonder if you have been here before. But don’t grow up too fast, I want to be able to fit in some more cuddles and kisses before you’re too embarrassed to receive them.
My love, your heart and your mind are totally ready for prep next year and I can’t wait to see you continue to grow, develop and discover you. I am proud beyond words and although you may not understand this if I were to explain this to you now, I want you to know that my life is dedicated to yours.
Starting prep next year means there will be tough times and don’t get me wrong, you will have to get through most of them by yourself, but I want you to know that I will always be there supporting you and guiding you along the way.
The world is your oyster Little E and only you have the power to turn your dreams into reality. But don’t worry, I’ll be there cheering you on.