Number 3 and My Journey to Pregnancy Number 5

Number 3 and my Journey to Pregnancy Number 5
So, I’ve hit number 3. It’s not the age of my son or how many coffees I’ve already had today, I had my third miscarriage in December.

To be completely honest with you, I’ve felt like completely giving up, like I just wasn’t meant to have another baby. But as I look through the photos of baby Elliott and reminisce about giving birth and the memories of looking at his beautiful face and body, amazed at what Mr. G and I had created, I just don’t think I could live without experiencing that for one last time.

Eva and Elliott
There have been so many times when I’ve contemplated the fact that we would only be having one child and in some ways I was OK with that and thought it would be for the best. But when other mums brought their little bundles to playgroup, when Elliott would touch my mummy tummy asking ‘Baby, mummy?’, seeing how much Elliott would love a baby brother or sister and considering down the track I would in fact live with the regret of only having one, I decided that a year of miscarriages was enough and it was time to find out why I could get pregnant easily but not hold the pregnancy.

It’s got me quite baffled actually. Never in a million years did I ever think I would experience a miscarriage, let alone three. My pregnancy with Elliott was text book, I had no morning sickness, the worse thing I experienced was fluid retention in the final weeks which gave me cankles….a summer baby in Queensland will do that to you! The birth was textbook; it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life and one I will never ever forget. I just need to get past the 12 week mark. The first time I was so close, I got to 9 weeks in February 2014 . The other two times, I only got half way, to 6 weeks.

I went to my GP and asked her ‘so what do I do now?’ She wrote me a referral for blood tests with words I couldn’t pronounce let alone know what they were about. She gave me a referral for pelvic ultrasounds and a referral to an obstetrician who also specialises in fertility issues.

Pathology

Last week I sat patiently in the waiting room at QML Pathology, waiting for my number to be called. While I waited I burst into silent tears. I started thinking to myself ‘I can’t believe I’m here, in this position, getting blood tests to see why I can’t hold my pregnancies’. It got me so upset and I automatically started to think back to what had happened in the past year, especially my first miscarriage where I saw the baby’s heart beat… and then I didn’t.

But, I managed to snap myself out of it and look at the situation positively. It was the start of finding out exactly what is going wrong; it’s the pathway to a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby.

My next stop will be for a pelvic ultrasound and to discuss the results and situation with the specialist. Let’s hope that sometime this year I will be writing a post entitled “We’ve hit 12 weeks!”

Have you experienced miscarriages and have gone on to have a healthy baby?

Today I’m linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

IBOT

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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37 Comments

  1. February 10, 2015 / 7:00 am

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear you are walking through this Eva. I’ve had two miscarriages and five years of infertility and then some years of secondary infertility, so yes, I do know somewhat of the heartache and pain that you are experiencing. It’s not fun. It’s a roller coaster of emotions and it’s draining. But I’m also grateful for the lessons I learned during that time which has shaped me as a woman today. I’m also grateful that when I think of those years and the pain, I never, ever take my children’s precious lives for granted. All the best, and I really hope with you that I will be reading an announcement post in the not so distant future.

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:23 pm

      Thanks x

  2. February 10, 2015 / 10:59 am

    So sorry to hear you’re having these issues Eva. Once again you are being incredibly brave by sharing your experiences – the more we talk about these things the better for all those women who have to go through it. I’ll be sending all the good vibes I can muster in your direction xx

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:22 pm

      Thanks Rachel. I agree with you, I”m all about sharing and helping, it’s such an important part of being a Mum.

  3. February 10, 2015 / 11:00 am

    I am so sorry for the grief you have gone through Eva. I have not miscarried, but know many women who had several miscarriages and then went on to deliver healthy children. I hope you will get some answers and look forward to your announcement.

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:22 pm

      Thanks Sharon. I too have heard very positive stories which is one of the things that keep me feeling positive.

  4. February 10, 2015 / 11:02 am

    Oh I so hope you get to write that post Eva. You are taking such positive steps. While I have never experienced a miscarriage, I know many people who have travelled this path as well as IVF. It’s heart-wrenching to see what they go through, but yet they are also among the most positive people I know. Sometimes I think it’s because they truly understand just how precious a little life is. xx

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:22 pm

      Me too Erika. Thank you x

  5. February 10, 2015 / 11:57 am

    So sorry to hear this Eva. I hope things turn around soon for you.
    I have never had a miscarriage. I have had an ectopic pregnancy though (pregnancy number 3) which I ended up losing a tube in emergency surgery at the 6-8 week mark. (I blogged it.)
    If it’s something that might help, I conceived all mine while taking high doses of magnesium and zinc in the three months prior to conception. These two minerals are essential for hormonal health and sustaining early life. (Hubby took them too.) I was initially under the guidance of a naturopath but subsequently took charge myself with later babies. I continued lower doses after conception too.
    A friend had a similar problem to you and it turned out all she needed was a couple of progesterone shots in the first 12 weeks to boost her lower levels which has been causing the miscarriages. Good luck. x

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:21 pm

      OMG Jody, so scary! I never knew that about the zinc and magnesium. I was also seeing a naturopath when I had Elliott so depending on how things go, I might consider going back.

  6. February 10, 2015 / 12:02 pm

    I hope you get some answers Eva. A friend had several losses and ended up needing low dose aspirin to help get a sticky bub. I know even the earliest loss can be so devastating xx

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:20 pm

      Me too, Amy. I”ve heard of the asprin thing, my friend had similar.

  7. February 10, 2015 / 12:17 pm

    Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. It’s so hard trying and it not working. I have been through IVF twice and had a chemical pregnancy. My thoughts are with you and all the best. Julie

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:19 pm

      Our bodies are mysterious, aren’t they. Who knows what path I’ll need to take next. Thanks Julie. x

  8. February 10, 2015 / 2:02 pm

    I am so sorry to hear you are going to through this. No one should have to go through it. I can’t begin to know how you’re feeling after 3 but I lost my first pregnancy very early on and then went on to have 2 healthy, happy and full term babies. I know you will succeed and I can’t wait to hear your wonderful 12 week news!

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:18 pm

      Thanks Jess. I just think it was meant to happen, to make me stronger and appreciate the family I have. It will happen, I know it.

  9. Money Mummy
    February 10, 2015 / 2:38 pm

    Hi Eva – so sorry you are going through this – it sucks!!! I had 6 pregnancies to get one live baby (two blighted ovums then a baby girl born prematurely at 20 weeks, then another two early ones then our daughter who is now four). We went to the miscarriage clincs at both IVF Australia and IVF Sydney – they said there was nothing wrong with us but they are worth a go – IVF Aust can do a special blod clotting test which helped a friend of mine hold her pregnancies – they also gave me Clexane injections to 32 weeks and progesterone to start…. Good luck and be strong you have a good track record in that you got Elliot. We were told given that we had no problems getting pregnant that it was “the law of large numbers” and that we would succeed eventually. That said it was freakin hard to continually go back and get kicked in the guts… So I understand how you feel. We did make it eventually. So keep trying. Good luck and be strong you can do it Xox

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:18 pm

      Oh no, 20 weeks, I just cannot imagine. Thank you for that, it gives me a lot of confidence.

  10. February 10, 2015 / 7:15 pm

    Big hugs Eva, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Stay strong, stay positive and I hope that everything ends up ok. x

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:18 pm

      Thanks Malinda. I”m sure it will. x

  11. February 10, 2015 / 8:24 pm

    Oh I’m so sorry Eva. I can’t even imagine how you must feel.
    I hope that you get some answers soon, and that we will soon be reading that twelve week post. Big hugs to you. xxx

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:18 pm

      It’s OK Jess, you don’t have to be sorry. The way I look at it is it’s life, I’m not the only one that’s experienced it, it’s all part of making me stronger and the person I am. It will happen soon. x

  12. February 10, 2015 / 9:42 pm

    Hugs to you Eva xx
    Hope you get those answers ASAP. You are one amazing, inspiring lady! x

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:16 pm

      Thanks Dannielle! xx

  13. Mum Of Five Girls
    February 10, 2015 / 9:54 pm

    hope you get some positive answers soon xx

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:16 pm

      Thank you, me too.

  14. February 10, 2015 / 10:12 pm

    Ahh Eva. I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m glad you’re taking positive steps in getting to the bottom of this and working out a new way forward. You are a very brave and strong woman and amazing mum. Hugs to you little lady xx

    • February 10, 2015 / 10:15 pm

      Thank you xx

  15. Natalie @ Our Parallel Connect
    February 11, 2015 / 5:12 am

    Lots of hugs your way. A miscarriage is one of life cruel tricks. It introduces to a world of planning and excitement, of what might be. You mentally begin to prepare your new life with a new love and then over night it is taken away without even a sorry. I lost twins before at 13 weeks in my first pregnancy, a dream I had always wished as a child to have twins. I never got my twins but I now have 4 beautiful, wonderful children. kiss kiss

  16. February 11, 2015 / 7:15 am

    I’m so sorry Eva. It is such an emotional journey. You get your hopes up, scared to hope but secretly hope and wait…I had a miscarriage between my daughter and son. It is possible. Wishing you all the best. Take Care. xx

  17. February 11, 2015 / 3:44 pm

    Oh I am sorry. I had a feeling that you’d had another. I’m not sure why.

    My third pregnancy miscarried at 5 weeks, and I went on to have three more baby’s and am pregnant again. It is so strange now to tell medical professionals that this is my seventh pregnancy, when I only have five children. I cannot imagine the depth of your despair when you have to tell professionals these numbers all the time. Big hugs.

    My first point of call would be diet. I’m a believer of food as medicine and always look to food as causing problems and as ways to create results. Love you. xS

  18. February 11, 2015 / 5:44 pm

    I’ve got all my fingers and toes crossed for you. Xx Know, however, that the desire for babies never goes away no matter how many you’ve had! #TeamIBOT

  19. February 11, 2015 / 8:58 pm

    Hopefully they will be able to get to the bottom of it and you will be on your way to a successful pregnancy. My RE was so great monitoring me before I got pregnant and even when I first got pregnant. He picked up on my thyroid going crazy as early as 4 weeks in which was really lucky because if it wasn’t picked up I most definitely would’ve lost my pregnancy somewhere between the 8-11 week mark.

  20. Kaycee
    January 23, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    I’m so sorry to read this Eva 🙁
    I too, have had 3 losses, and have gone on to have a total of 4 beautiful healthy daughters 🙂
    But feel your sadness and frustration, in fact I even cried for you reading this post 🙁

    I had my first daughter with absolutely no problems, then after her had 2 miscarriages in a row – one at 13wks, the second at 8wks. After which I was blessed with 2 more healthy daughters 19mths apart 🙂 I then fell pregnant with a baby boy whom we lost at 18.5weeks, fully formed and developed with no medical reason found for his loss. Then we were surprised (very surprised!!) with another healthy daughter……………:)

    • January 23, 2016 / 4:49 pm

      Thanks for your comment, Kaycee. I’m so glad to hear that although you too have had 3 losses, that you have 4 healthy children. I honestly believe that, for some reason, there are some people that thrown these curve balls to make them stronger as a parent. It certainly has made me stronger and has given me a completely different perspective on life and my family.

      As I write this I’m pleased to say that I’m currently 14 weeks pregnant and all is going smoothly so far. I can honestly say I’m so glad to be past the 12 week mark and every time I have a scan and hear the babies heart beat (every 2 weeks as I’m still classed as high risk) it just makes me feel even more confident.

      Thank you so much for connecting. I’m so sorry for your loses but am really glad you have been able to grow a beautiful family. xx
      Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman) recently posted…Raspberry & White Chocolate Brownies – Bellini Intelli & Conventional RecipesMy Profile