The comparing bit is one that I completely relate to and in fact, for weeks and weeks I’ve had a ‘blog post ideas’ list that I put together and one of the points I wrote was:
You know the story. You sometimes find yourself comparing your house to other peoples houses or the holidays they go on, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, their social life and in my case I will admit, I compare my blog to other blogs and have felt like throwing in the towel numerous times. Thanks to Facebook, people are always sharing updates on these aspects of their life every day.
I remind myself…
The thing is, and what I try to remind myself when I fall into the comparison trap, you really don’t know how someone came to have these things, or if they’re even happy behind the facade. Comparing yourself to others actually starts being a form of you judging yourself, and that’s just not cool.
You don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes
Perhaps someone has a really nice house but what you don’t know is if they’re struggling to pay the mortgage, perhaps they inherited money? Perhaps someone you know just went on a lovely holiday to Europe which you envied, but how do you know they didn’t accumulate a huge credit card debt to do the trip or that their parents helped them to pay for some of it? The same goes with nice clothes and other material items.
And when it comes to comparing blogs (or small businesses) you just don’t know how they came to where they are now. You don’t know if the person had another blog or business from where much of their audience came from, you don’t know if a lot of money was invested into their website design and promotion as opposed to you doing yours all by yourself.
All my blogging and writing work is done when my toddler is asleep which means I am very limited with my time, but what I have done with my limited time I am proud of. I only have one day a week when he’s in kindy where I can focus on my writing and don’t have the luxury of grandparents to look after Elliott during the week…my parents all work full-time.
But, when my mind gets off track and I find myself comparing my blog to others, I try to snap myself back by remembering that bigger and more successful blogs and/or small businesses out there probably have lots more time than I do and either don’t have kids, they have school aged children or are able to have their children cared for more often. Of course, they would be able to achieve lots more than I can at this point! The other thing is money, if someone has the financial means to outsource work whether it’s a small business or blog, well then they will always be one step ahead.
Stop the vicious cycle
In the big scheme of things, comparing yourself to others really doesn’t do you any good at all, the only thing it’s good for is making you feel inadequate, it’s like a vicious cycle. In comparing yourself to others, not only do you not know the behind the scenes details of a person, but you are comparing yourself to someone that’s had completely different life experiences and has walked a completely different path to you. It’s most certainly better to focus your energies on being the best version of yourself and putting measures in place to do so.
I’m definitely guilty of having made comparisons but I try to make an effort to be mindful of these negative thoughts and redirect them towards a focus on what I have achieved on the path I have taken so far in my life. I hope this post has inspired you to redirect your thoughts too so you can embrace Eden Riley’s theory on the Joy of Missing Out.