So, what do you think? Does this look like your day, lazing around? Ha! I didn’t think so and it’s definitely not mine either! But a lady I overheard the other evening seemed to think so!
I had to write a post to share with you my frustration over a conversation I overheard the other night at a BBQ. There were very few people I knew at this BBQ and because we brought Elliott along with us (apparently it was ‘kids’ invited but Elliott was pretty much the only child) I was nursing him most of the night because he wouldn’t sleep and was very unhappy. While I was sitting in a chair nursing Elliott to sleep away from the noise, I overheard an older woman talk about one of her 20 something year old sons. Her comment was “Matthew wants to be a Stay at Home Dad when he has kids. I said it’s because he’s lazy.”
Now I don’t know this lady and it was the first time I’d met her so I do not know her history or if she was a Stay at Home Mum, but her comment really irritated me and I couldn’t get it out of my head the next day! Whether it was a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ or not, it’s comments like this that build the negative stigma around being a Stay at Home Mum and that SAHM’s sit at home with their feet up drinking coffee (just like me in the photo…I had fun doing this)! No bloody wonder I get an attack of the guilt’s when Mr. G comes home from work and the place looks like a cyclone has it it. No bloody wonder it was hard going from a working Mum to a Stay at Home Mum because of these types of comments. Since Elliott was born, I have felt on a number of occasions that I’ve had to defend my reasons behind choosing to be a Stay at Home Mum, but it’s funny, I also felt like I had to defend my reasons for working and putting Elliott into daycare too. You just can’t win being a Mum.
What I’ve found through this parenting thing is that, opinions fly everywhere and are all based on peoples different experiences of parenthood and possibly because they envy something they didn’t get to experience themselves. But, as a person who has always had a weak spot for worrying about what others think, I’ve found that opinions on parenting have really got the best of me at times, they’ve made me feel quite lost and not sure about what it was that I really wanted because I was always thinking about the opinions of others, I just didn’t want to be criticised.
On the work front, trial and error has really been what has helped me figure out what’s best for me and my family, I’ve tried both the working thing and now the SAHM thing and I’ve had good, strong reasons for both. All I know is that for me, the decision I made a couple of months ago to be a Stay at Home Mum was the best I’ve made for my current situation. I tried the whole working thing a few days a week and then one day a week, this is what I always thought I’d do, but it just didn’t work and I had to come to terms with that. I closed my business so I could focus 100% on Elliott. I knew being a SAHM was going to be tough work, I knew I was going to get cabin fever and drive myself crazy, I knew that I was going to be constantly looking at the mess in my house wanting to get it clean every day (which doesn’t happen by the way) but I knew it was definitely worth dealing with this to be with Elliott, to have 100% focus on him. It took me a while to think this way, but I just keep reminding myself “do what’s right for you and your family.”
So whether as a Stay at Home Mum people think I’m lazy or not, the only thing I care about now is that I get to spend valuable time with my son, and as I write in a previous post, I’m very lucky to be able to do so.
What irritating comments have you overheard or received about being a SAHM or Working Parent that irritated you?