Maybe It Will Come Back Tomorrow

interior monologue

I’ve just woken up and there’s a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.

Am I going to survive today? What’s going to happen?

Why do I feel this way, I feel like crying?

I get out of bed and make Elliott some toast. He doesn’t want it anymore, his tummy is full of smoothie. I guess I should eat it otherwise I probably won’t eat anything.

I get his kindy bag ready and his clothes to wear.

I feel like I’m moving in slow motion.

I still feel like I want to cry. But why? I can’t pinpoint it.

What do I wear today? Usually, it’s so easy, now I just couldn’t be bothered.

I just want to get back in bed. I can’t face the world today.

This dress will do.

Makeup? It’s been making me feel good lately, so maybe I should put it on and see what happens.

Nothing.

I dress Elliott.

Teeth brushed, hair done, vitamins and medication taken. Let’s hope they pep me up a bit.

Dog outside.

Bag, keys, purse in hand. Let’s do this.

Driving along to kindy, what a lovely day. Ah, I feel a positive spark! Maybe things are turning for the better.

False alarm, short lived.

Kindy drop off, I hope this goes smoothly, Elliott is usually a bit funny on the first day back after a weekend and won’t let me leave.

Thank god, he’s happy today, I can leave relatively quickly.

Kindy drop off complete, I felt like talking to as few people as possible. That’s not like me.

I can’t wait to buy my soy cappuccino.  I need it, bad.

I’m back home, I’ll open up the house to let the sun and breeze through. That should make me feel good, it’s a lovely day.

Do I turn on the radio like I usually do? It usually gets me into the mood. No, I don’t feel like it today. Quiet is what I need.

It’s 9am, I should go and turn my computer on and start work.

Gosh, my desk is a mess, I should really tidy it up. A bit of decluttering might make me feel better. No, I don’t feel like it today.

I take a sip of my coffee. Ah, that’s good coffee but the feeling is still there.

I want to cry and I don’t know why. This is ridiculous.

Looks like I’ll be battling through the day. I feel so unmotivated, where is the spark that’s usually always there, the drive, the happiness.

Maybe it will come back tomorrow.

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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