Mummy guilt strikes again

Yesterday was a pretty average day for me. It wasn’t because yet again I woke with a tight chest and felt very average after only just getting over the flu, it wasn’t because I had heaps of work to do, it was because mummy guilt struck…again.

mummyguilt
I’ve found myself right back where I didn’t want to be, all consumed in my work and my blog that I felt that I had not given the quality time to Elliott that both he and I deserve.

As I scrolled through my Facebook feed I saw lovely photos of my friends on holidays with their children yet I had shipped mine off to childcare. I kept asking myself ‘should I have been more proactive and taken some time off with Elliott too? Why did I not think of that? Am I a bad mum for not putting him first?’

So that’s how most of my day panned out yesterday, these thoughts, the guilt, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just wanted to finish work, get Elliott and give him a big hug and play with him in the yard until the sun went down. But I couldn’t and it sucked.

I often think about the time I miss with Elliott and wonder if I’m doing the right thing, sending him off to daycare 4 full days a week. At one point I remind myself that it is right, I am working hard to be able to provide the life we want for him and I am working for myself because it’s what I love to do (most of the time). But then the days like yesterday come along where I wonder if it’s all worth it, worth the time I miss with him.

I’m sure this is a feeling that almost every mother experiences on and off.  I hate it, I really do, it’s the worst feeling in the world but I know it will never go away.

All I can do is make the most of the time I have with Elliott when he is with me. That’s the most important thing.

Tell me I’m not the only one. Do you often feel this way? How do you get over it?

 

Today I’m linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

IBOT

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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6 Comments

  1. September 22, 2015 / 12:02 pm

    You’re definitely not the only one who feels like this. I don’t think there is a possible solution for achieving a perfect balance, just a ‘better’ balance. Some days I just cancel all plans for the day (catching up on washing and errands etc), and just go for a walk by the lake with my toddler, look at the ducks and enjoy the sunshine. A change of environment helps clear my head, and if I’m not at home, I don’t feel guilty when I see the mess around me that needs to be tidied up 🙂 You do the best the can, that’s all you can do x
    Emma @ Life, kids and a glass of red recently posted…The joys of hot coffee and bathroom breaks aloneMy Profile

    • September 22, 2015 / 4:14 pm

      Thanks Emma! I think the problem I often face is that I live at home, work at home and spend so much time at home that often, I can’t break away. I think I need to start doing that more often! Thank you. x

  2. September 22, 2015 / 4:32 pm

    You’re certainly not alone in feeling like this Eva. I send my two to daycare three days per week and often get attacks of the guilts as they moan and complain that they don’t want to go each morning, but I know that they actually really love it and get so much out of it, they get to experience things I’d never be able to do with them!
    Mumma McD recently posted…Play Centre PurgatoryMy Profile

  3. September 22, 2015 / 10:32 pm

    You are not alone in this. I feel it all the time and especially lately. I’m always worrying that I’m not spending enough time with them and I’m always distracted with work or housework or God knows what else. I’m really looking forward to our upcoming week away. I hope you can have some time out soon too. Your trip to the Art Gallery looked like it was a great bonding experience for the two of you xx
    Renee Wilson recently posted…Our beach holiday – Banana Boat giveawayMy Profile

  4. September 23, 2015 / 8:50 am

    I always worried about sending my kids to childcare as my two spent most of the young life in childcare while I worked. Now that they are both older and we are able to reflect together, it might be nice for you to know, that they didn’t mind at all. In fact the only time they each complain about is when they were much older and didn’t feel they needed to be in vacation care anymore. Other than that they have only good memories. I just wish I had of known they were enjoying it all those years ago, and saved the mummy guilt for something else. xxx
    Nicole @ The Builder’s Wife recently posted…Sisterhood of the World Bloggers AwardMy Profile

  5. September 23, 2015 / 2:10 pm

    I’m a stay at home mum, but I still feel guilty sometimes. I struggle to be mentally present and need to actively draw my attention back to the kids. I think we all feel like that because we all want to be everything. Which we can’t be. But we can always change things too, so if it’s more than a bad day, maybe look at what can be done. Big hugs. Nothing’s easy xx
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Death of an Iron #IBOTMy Profile