I tend to have the occasional ‘aha’ moment, but my most recent one had me jumping for joy.
I’m not sure why it took so long for this ‘aha’ moment to happen, for the realisation to actually sink in, but it happened and it’s certainly changed my perspective.
You may know from previous blog posts over the past couple of years that my journey to this current pregnancy has been fraught with disappointment and emotion. I experienced three miscarriages, I feared ever being able to cope with another baby, I’ve questioned myself as to whether or not I wanted a second child AND I’ve worried about my postnatal depression returning.
And do you know that all it took to turn these negatives into an ‘aha’ moment, into the realisation that I could do it, that having my daughter in July would be amazing, that I was going to be a great mother, that I was NOT going to get postnatal depression again was a really good talk with my sister.
The thing is, I don’t usually get to sit down over coffee and have a really good talk with my sister because she lives on the other side of the world, with her family in San Diego. Whenever we Skype we are always accompanied by our kids which makes deep and meaningful conversations somewhat challenging.
This time though, I was able to have a great talk with her because she’s over here visiting, she arrived as a surprise visit for my mums 60th birthday. My little sister has a 4 year old and a 2 year old and so we can relate on the exact same level.
I’ve seen my sister being able to cope with raising children while my brother in law has been deployed and on assignment with the US Navy. I’ve seen my sister struggle with breastfeeding her first child just like I did with Elliott but then she went on to breastfeed my nephew until he was almost two years old. She was able to talk to me about the emotions she went through, how she dealt with it, the challenges she had to push through, the Facebook groups I should join and it all of a sudden became achievable to me. Not just the breastfeeding part, but the whole damn thing – coping and beating PND.
During that conversation, I also realised that I had forgotten the power of conversation, real and deep conversation with my little sister. Boy have I missed it. And I really blame myself for not making more of an effort to do it more often, to plan around the kids and have conversations on our own, if even via Facebook chat. Yes, life gets in the way and so does the time zone, but now I realise how important it is to make this a priority in my life.
I’m truly very lucky to have TWO sisters who I can always confide in, I often forget that they are not just my sisters, they are my friends too…the closest I have. My conversation with my sister made me realise this. And although when we were kids we had plenty of screaming matches, now, I’m not sure what I’d do without them.
Perhaps this post may be a little reminder to you too. Get in touch with that old friend, sister, brother or mother. It could be just the thing you need.
There’s no Mummy Mondays linkup today because they are now being hosted over at All Mum Said. It’s highly likely you didn’t see the notification on Facebook because Facebook hates me and doesn’t show my posts to anyone anymore. So, in case you missed it, I’d like to say a big THANK YOU for joining in the linkups. I had been running it since 2013 but it just got a little too much for me. I’m so glad that Kell at All Mum Said could take over and keep it alive! I’m not disappearing though, I’m sure I’ll see you around!. xx
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