Conquering the Loneliness of Being a Stay At Home Parent

lonely stay at home mum

Stay at Home Mums and Dads all get lonely every now and then, I know I do.

We crave that adult interaction, the ability to have an adult conversation instead of one with a babbling toddler.
It’s so difficult to look at the same four walls day in and day out, cabin fever can set in. I often have days when I wake up and feel dread in the pit of my stomach because I have to go through another day of coming up with activities to keep Master E interested. I can’t just ring a friend or one of my parents because most of them work.
When there’s a day I know I’m meeting someone for coffee or going to playgroup, there’s a bounce in my step because I can actually talk to somebody.  I remember I hated having to make phone calls to the bank or to arrange something in particular, but now I enjoy it because it’s the rare opportunity to hold a proper, adult conversation.

In light of my predicament, I’ve come up with a list of ways that may be helpful to conquer your loneliness as a Stay At Home Mum or Dad and most of which I do to keep me just that little bit saner!

  1. We have joined a playgroup on Thursday mornings. This is a perfect opportunity for Master E to play for a couple of hours and me to catch up on some much-needed adult conversation (and cake!) To search for a playgroup in your area visit Playgroup Australia
  2. I try to make play dates with my SAHM/D friends and their kids – I try to schedule one a week when I can. If your friends and family work, why not try point 3.
  3. Join a Facebook Group within your area and connect with other parents. To find a Facebook Group, try searching something like ‘<Your Suburb> Parents or <Your Suburb> Mums’.  There are often many parents looking to meet up, especially those who have just moved into the area.
  4. I joined an online parenting forum called Bub Hub where I can chat with other parents, ask questions and share advice.
  5. Read blogs and leave comments. You’ll end up getting to know an online community of people this way. I  have made many ‘online’ friends this way and it also becomes a great support network. It may not be ‘talking’ but it’s the next best thing and you’d be surprised at the great people you can meet online.
  6. Join a children’s activity group like Gymboree, Kindergym (run from many local PCYC’s), Music Groups or Master E enjoys Little Kickers. This will get you out of the house with a chance to meet other parents.
  7. Check out the different children’s activities available at your local library.

What things do you do to try to combat the loneliness of being a Stay at Home Parent? 

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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26 Comments

  1. October 20, 2013 / 9:09 pm

    Great tips Eva! We go down to our local park most days and there are always other parents and kids to talk to. I’m also hoping to enrol Liam in Little Kickers next term. They are at such a great age now to start participating in other activities – a great way for us to meet people too! I also agree with having regular catch ups with other stay at home parents – speaking of which are you guys free tomorrow?!?!

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:18 am

      I’m sure Liam will love Little Kickers, it’s the best!

  2. October 21, 2013 / 1:05 am

    Hi Eva! Hope you had a good family break last week. Great SAHM tips… it can get pretty isolating being at home all day with just the kids. Sometimes I wonder if my brain has turned to mush from all the mundane SAHM stuff I do all day every day. I’m on the Bub Hub too! And I totally agree with #5… I remember I made a resolution some time back to give more comment love and was pleasantly surprised by the great community it opened me up to

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:19 am

      The family holiday was wonderful, thank you. Since starting blogging, I have been so surprised at the wonderful online community, it’s very supportive most of the time.

  3. October 21, 2013 / 1:20 am

    I find it is boredom with me and just getting outside for a walk cures these feelings. But these are great tips, a playgroup is such a great idea as you find out you are actually normal in the things that worry you.

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:20 am

      Yes, it was most certainly boredom with me which is one of the reasons I began blogging. Getting outside does amazing things doesn’t it!

  4. October 21, 2013 / 1:21 am

    Great ideas, I find sometimes it is just boredom with me and just getting outside for a walk really helps. Playgroups are great as you find out you are normal in the things that worry you.

  5. October 21, 2013 / 3:01 am

    I have one in year 7 and 3 in primary school and one in kinder (and baby) so these days my popping into the primary school and chatting to the staff gives me lots of pleasure! I love to talk to intelligent peeps! I have done playgroups and mothers groups over the years but once we left Balwyn and moved outer, I am not so interested. It’s a different demographic here! Just started following you too as I apparently wasn’t! Jody at Six Little Hearts

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:21 am

      Wow, you have your hands full! I’ve done a couple of groups that just weren’t my thing but have been lucky enough to find a great group!

  6. October 21, 2013 / 3:02 am

    I have one in year 7 and 3 in primary school and one in kinder (and baby) so these days my popping into the primary school and chatting to the staff gives me lots of pleasure! I love to talk to intelligent peeps! I have done playgroups and mothers groups over the years but once we left Balwyn and moved outer, I am not so interested. It’s a different demographic here! Just started following you too as I apparently wasn’t! Jody at Six Little Hearts

  7. October 21, 2013 / 11:06 am

    Great tips! I spent a bit of time finding out when various activities are held, like library storytimes, local playgroups, and local activities that are advertised in the paper, and put them all in my diary as recurring events. Now when cabin fever hits, I can see at a glance what my options are for the day.

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:22 am

      Thanks Danya. Isn’t it amazing how many local activities are available when you have a look.

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:22 am

      Great idea about the diary too!

  8. October 21, 2013 / 1:36 pm

    Thank you for hosting this wonderful link up party! I too battled with the loneliness of being a SAHM but I created a Mom and Kids play group online and now it has grown to over 140 members! It was scary when I did it because I had to get the word out but now it has flourished! We now have a FB group too where we can all talk at any time and it is amazing! The power of community!

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:23 am

      That sounds fabulous Carli, good on you. I’ll have to check it out.

  9. October 22, 2013 / 8:33 am

    Some lovely tips here honey. I remember when I was a full time SAHM and it was hard. It’s really important to have those supports in place!

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:25 am

      Thanks Penny. Yep, it sure is.

  10. October 22, 2013 / 10:34 pm

    This looks like a fun linky party, might have to join in next week. I agree with the advice about playgroups but it is nice to combine it with something for yourself every now and then so my favourite day of the week is Monday when I go to stroller group.

    • October 24, 2013 / 2:26 am

      I hope you can join up again Kate. I love playgroup because it gives me the opportunity to catch up with other mums so I do class it as a bit of me time as I don’t often get to do that. I need to do some proper me time though, like go to the park and read a book or get a pedicure!

  11. October 24, 2013 / 8:51 am

    My playgroup was my saviour. It’s so nice to have other people that have children growing up of similar ages that you can chat with when needed. Good list, thanks for sharing 🙂

  12. October 26, 2013 / 12:33 am

    Love this post. Sounds a bit like my Blogger’s Confession a few weeks back. I find that my online friends are just as important if not sometimes more so than my real life friends!! It’s great to have so many ways to connect with other adults isn’t it. Thanks for some great tips xx

  13. October 28, 2013 / 3:00 am

    Is it weird that I don’t feel lonely as a SAHM? I seem to be satisfied by the conversations I get online and with people when I’m out and about or at a park. I don’t feel I need anymore than that. That said, there are many that aren’t like me that would love these tips. Thanks.

  14. October 28, 2013 / 11:33 am

    What a thoughtful and practical list.

    I used to feel alone. I’d often have a cry with my husband about it. Joining a few groups (Baby Gym and Playgroup) seemed to help.

    But I haven’t experienced that at all since my son was born. We don’t even go to any groups anymore. I don’t have time after taking my daughter to kinder. I’m not sure why feeling alone isn’t an issue anymore. It might be that I’m busier. It might be that my attention is now stretched to a third person. It might be that I’ve finally become used to my new role- it isn’t such a shock after coming from full time work.

  15. November 5, 2013 / 2:01 am

    I am so glad to hear I’m not the only one. I used to wander around stores and wonder what the other moms were doing for socialization. That was three kids ago, and I’ve learned a lot since then. I love your tips, especially about joining play groups. That’s my #1 tips to new moms as well. I wrote about this exact subject in 2012 (link submitted with my name). Hope to see you around the blogosphere!