My Fear: The Dark Side of Blogging

the dark side of blogging

The Dark Side of Blogging and Being Myself

While you read this I will be studiously listening to one of the many amazing talks at the ProBlogger conference and rubbing shoulders with a myriad of other cool bloggers.

As I write this though, it’s Wednesday afternoon and my trip to ProBlogger has made me think back to the North Coast Creative Business Women’s High Tea I attended a couple of months ago.

At this high tea, I was lucky enough to meet Chantelle of Fat Mum Slim, Renee from Mummy Wife Me, Kathy from Yin Yang Mother and Emily from Have A Laugh On Me.  When I was having a chat with Emily (a seriously cool chick) she made a comment that’s really got me thinking. So what did Emily say? She mentioned that I wasn’t what she expected, she thought that I was lots more outgoing in real life than I am on my blog, and I actually tend to agree with her.

Let me explain. It’s not that I’m trying to be a different person on the blog, because I’m not. It’s not that I’m not being honest, because I am…all the time. I’m still being me, but a more reserved me.

My problem is that I worry too much, it’s the ‘worry wart’ and anxious Eva in me.  I fear what will happen if I share a little bit of my crazy side, if I share more of an opinion or if I approach things with a bit more of a light hearted perspective. What will people think, what if people don’t like the other side of Eva?

I’ve seen some bloggers being 100% themselves and letting it all out only to cop loads of criticism and nasty comments. I worry that this will happen to me and I’m not built for that kind of stuff.

For example, my post on Butter vs. Margarine. Who would have thought people would have been so passionate about their butter! I really couldn’t give two hoots what other peoples decisions in life are, if it’s good for them, fair enough.  And because I feel this way, I just didn’t expect the backlash that came with a very innocent post. I never posted it to be controversial, I hate confrontation, I did it to be informative. Lets just say, I worried about the post and the Facebook comments all day.

 

So I think to myself, is it worth it? Is it worth totally putting every bit of me out there at the risk of having the odd few people not like what I say?  Do I put the entire Eva out there, crazy and with opinions to make my blog more interesting and less serious? Is that what readers want? Is that my path to getting more readers?

I admire other bloggers who just come out with it, they share their opinions and thoughts uncensored and their posts make me laugh,  I love their insights and how they share in their craziness. When I read them, I think to myself ‘they really sound a lot like me,  I wish I had the guts to just write it like that’.

It’s a matter of self preservation and I’m in two minds. Perhaps I might gain some more insight at the blogging conference.

And so this is my current blogging conundrum.

 

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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12 Comments

  1. August 29, 2014 / 6:52 am

    It’s taken me a while to feel confident with my bloggy voice – a voice which for the most part is a honest concoction of my sarcastic, slightly cheeky but caring and serious self. Some posts are more true to my own self than others and yes I do hold back a bit but not as much as I used to and for the most part it’s the posts where I put it out there a bit more that my readership seem to respond to and love.

    • August 29, 2014 / 6:54 am

      Opps pressed done before I was! Try quirky for one post. Put it out there, see how it feels. I reckon you might come back from PB with the inspiration and confidence to do it! As long as your happy with your blogs voice, that’s all that matters! X

  2. Lucy @ Bake Play Smile
    August 29, 2014 / 8:17 am

    Oh Eva I would love to see your more outgoing side!!! I’m sure I would love you even more!!! Have a great time at PB – wish I was there and could meet you in person! xx

  3. Jody at Six Little Hearts
    August 29, 2014 / 11:45 am

    I wouldn’t stress Eva. Everybody’s so multifaceted and you are presenting the side of you that is your blogging voice – great! If you are different in real life – great too! Enjoy the conference and make sure you share some facts for those of us that stayed at home and blogged in our Uggs and trackies this fine ‘home-bound’ weekend!

  4. August 29, 2014 / 6:39 pm

    Eva, I totally understand your conundrum! I read this entire post, head nodding.
    As a teacher, I don’t want to put “too much” of myself out there in BlogLand.
    But then I worry that this makes me less authentic.
    Have fun at Problogger. All the pics on IG are making me jealous and hungry!

  5. Kathy www.yinyangmother.com
    August 30, 2014 / 12:44 am

    Eva – You are lovely – so be who you want to be for yourself, and your readers, on this blog. I don’t think we have to give all of ourselves, I think the key is not hide the best and the most real parts of ourselves. I don’t know, but glad to catch up with you today (or that would be yesterday as I comment, after the cocktail party – hoping I make sense)!

  6. August 31, 2014 / 9:09 pm

    I like to think I lay it all out there on my blog. Sure there are some things that happen in my life that I don’t post about, but when I do post I’m a pretty open book. I think in some ways being behind the computer screen gives me more courage to say what I think, because if people do upset me they wont be able to see my reaction and I can take time to gather my thoughts before I respond. Its not as scary as a face to face situation. I avoid confrontation at all costs, but the internet probably makes me a bit more brave.

  7. Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me
    August 31, 2014 / 10:13 pm

    Well I love crazy, chatty and vivacious Eva and I’m sure your readers will too. I occasionally feel quite vulnerable on my blog. If I’m ever unsure about whether to share something or not though, I give it the front page of the courier mail test first 🙂

  8. September 1, 2014 / 4:53 pm

    I’ve felt like this so many times over the years. What I should and shouldn’t share for fear of being disliked or having people have a go at me. I’ve gotten better as time has gone on but I do still self-censor. Having said that though, I make sure that anything I do blog about and say I can back up 100% and stand by it, but at the same time I’m always open to new ideas and having my mind changed for me (in the nicest possible way of course!)
    P.S. I think you handled the comments on your FB butter vs marg post brilliantly!

  9. September 1, 2014 / 7:48 pm

    Oh Eva I know exactly what you mean! I withhold so much and upon reflecting from ProBlogger, it’s all because of fear… but not really fear from others, fear of what my friends and family might think. I actually had someone tell me my blog would be awesome if I blogged the truth (*ouch*) haha..

    I think there were a lot of people that were different in real life than I thought they would be having read their blogs, I was really glad to meet you though! I think I am so much cooler online than in real life, it’s the introvert in me!!
    Good luck with however you decide to take your blog.

  10. September 3, 2014 / 11:36 am

    I think this comes from a bit of acceptance. If we are completely accepting of yourself, then the fear diminishes. If we are fulling embracing of our personality and opinions, then others opinions of us do not matter. It is difficult to get to this start of acceptance of self. It is all a journey. You’ll gain your confidence slowly, cause you are a pretty outgoing confident person. Everyone here will see this eventually. xS

  11. September 28, 2014 / 10:40 pm

    I often wonder this same thing, Eva. Putting ourselves out there and hanging on a limb isn’t fun a lot of the time. But something compels me to do it. I guess the idea of being ‘safe’ never really molded into an interesting life. x