Since starting my first job all those years ago, I’ve never quite felt passionate about something, whether it was a job or a hobby, until recently.
Looking back, every job I had was just that, a job. There were many times I thought to myself with little confidence, ‘is this it, is this what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life?’ There have been many times in the past when I’ve also thought to myself ‘how on earth do I find what I’m really meant to be doing and how will I know’? I kept on persisting, working harder, searching, trying different jobs, but they just didn’t fill me with the enthusiasm I expected, and in perfect Eva fashion, I got bored. I’ve never been a person to persist with something that doesn’t fill me with motivation and excitement, to me it’s just not worth it because life is short.
Becoming a Mum
When I became a Mum, however, the direction of things started to change, but not straight away. As a new Mum, I was still hungry for the success side of things and to get back into a career with plans to return to work after the first year. When that didn’t work out, I started my own business when Elliott was 10 months old, but Post Natal Depression got in the way and my focus needed shifting back to myself and my family, not on a business and definitely not on success. At this stage, I had already started my blog as a time filler and something I did to escape, but my blog just wasn’t getting the attention it needed.
A change of direction and perspective
Escaping the grips of Post Natal Depression was when the direction of things certainly changed, my perspective changed, the way I wrote changed and my love for writing my blog grew ten fold. This is when I realised I had been doing it all wrong, well almost. For years I had been searching for success and my calling only to realise each time that what I was doing just didn’t feel like it. The searching part of my experience wasn’t entirely wrong because I am a big believer in the fact that ‘you’ll never know if you don’t give it a try’ but what I do know is that I was trying to make my passion happen, I was forcing it instead of just letting it happen naturally.
I realise what I was doing wrong
Once I realised what I’d been doing wrong, I was able to see that I had, in fact, found my calling without even realising it at first, my love for blogging and writing. I didn’t realise it because blogging and writing were just something I did, something I enjoyed and something that made me happy. It’s something that has given me a chance to share parts of myself, to express myself and to let my creative side out. It was like a light bulb moment, something I didn’t see straight away, but when I did, oh what a joy! I realised that this is something that came about not from wanting to be successful but from pure enjoyment, and with this, it has naturally progressed into a successful blog and freelance writing without me even considering the success part and having fun at the same time.
So what have I learned from my experience? Do what you enjoy and your passion will happen. It’s a natural progression, your passion will find you, don’t try to search for it.
Have you found your calling? How did it happen?