I’ve just woken up and there’s a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.
Am I going to survive today? What’s going to happen?
Why do I feel this way, I feel like crying?
I get out of bed and make Elliott some toast. He doesn’t want it anymore, his tummy is full of smoothie. I guess I should eat it otherwise I probably won’t eat anything.
I get his kindy bag ready and his clothes to wear.
I feel like I’m moving in slow motion.
I still feel like I want to cry. But why? I can’t pinpoint it.
What do I wear today? Usually, it’s so easy, now I just couldn’t be bothered.
I just want to get back in bed. I can’t face the world today.
This dress will do.
Makeup? It’s been making me feel good lately, so maybe I should put it on and see what happens.
I dress Elliott.
Teeth brushed, hair done, vitamins and medication taken. Let’s hope they pep me up a bit.
Bag, keys, purse in hand. Let’s do this.
Driving along to kindy, what a lovely day. Ah, I feel a positive spark! Maybe things are turning for the better.
False alarm, short lived.
Kindy drop off, I hope this goes smoothly, Elliott is usually a bit funny on the first day back after a weekend and won’t let me leave.
Thank god, he’s happy today, I can leave relatively quickly.
Kindy drop off complete, I felt like talking to as few people as possible. That’s not like me.
I can’t wait to buy my soy cappuccino. I need it, bad.
I’m back home, I’ll open up the house to let the sun and breeze through. That should make me feel good, it’s a lovely day.
Do I turn on the radio like I usually do? It usually gets me into the mood. No, I don’t feel like it today. Quiet is what I need.
It’s 9am, I should go and turn my computer on and start work.
Gosh, my desk is a mess, I should really tidy it up. A bit of decluttering might make me feel better. No, I don’t feel like it today.
I take a sip of my coffee. Ah, that’s good coffee but the feeling is still there.
I want to cry and I don’t know why. This is ridiculous.
Looks like I’ll be battling through the day. I feel so unmotivated, where is the spark that’s usually always there, the drive, the happiness.
Maybe it will come back tomorrow.
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