Penis Capers and Perspectives from a Mum Without Brothers

Mum Without Brothers

I am one of 3 girls. My poor, poor dad, he did so well to survive in a house with four women whose monthly cycle always seemed to fall at exactly the same time month after month. So life with no brothers means that I was never really subjected to what I like to call ‘Penis Capers’.

And so what d’ya knows, I became a mum of a son and to be quite frank, I’m still a little lost on the penis front.

Call it what you will, penis, willy, winkie, dinkie etc etc…I’m just going with the flow (pardon the pun). Since becoming a mum I’ve heard many a story from friends about the antics their sons get up to with their penises and gosh was it new to me. Pulling, flicking, scratching, stroking….a total new ball game (I’m on a roll with the puns!) I do remember thinking ‘my son won’t do that’ with complete naivety.  So once the nappy was gone and toilet training started, easy access meant that the penis was discovered and that I developed a whole new appreciation of what it was to be the mum of a son.

So back to toilet training, Elliott has been toilet trained for a little while now but I’m still unsure if what I’ve taught him is right. I recently had to resort to asking my mother in law how she toilet trained Mr. G.  So what is all the fuss about?  Well, you see, I’ve toilet trained Elliott to wee sitting down! Is that wrong? In the beginning it sort of made sense to me because, you know, it’s less messy and I just thought he wasn’t ‘big’ enough yet to get a good aim. But apparently, I’m supposed to help him with his aim?

And so begins my motherhood journey through boyhood. It’s been relatively straightforward until now. It looks like I will have to make time to read my book by Steve Biddulph ‘Raising Boys’ that has been sitting on my bookshelf for three years, and with that, I’ll leave you a little something out of his book that I probably should have read earlier.

Q: My son pulls and stretches his penis. Is this okay?

A: Basically children won’t damage themselves, because if it hurts they’ll soon stop! Penises are a little fascinating to their owners, feel comforting to hold, and this is fine. Don’t make a fuss about it.

Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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12 Comments

  1. January 23, 2015 / 7:20 am

    The things we do for love, eh? 🙂

  2. January 23, 2015 / 8:58 am

    Oh my god at just laughed at “it feels comforting”…. penises are weird.

    As soon as my son’s arms were long enough to reach it, he was grabbing it, stretching it, poking it. I was alarmed at first but now it just seems normal – except when it’s a pooey nappy. Trying to get a wipe on that mess before his hands dive down is like some old school western to see who draws first. I have a hand on the nappy tab, he has a hand ready to dive… 3….2….1…SHOOT. Nothing more fun than trying to stop a poo streaked hand going into your toddlers mouth. FUN.

  3. January 23, 2015 / 9:07 am

    Haha! I have taught my eldest son to pee sitting down – it’s much better. I figure he can learn to pee standing up later in life! I have a husband who pees sitting down, and it’s awesome. lol. No fights about the toilet seat!

  4. January 23, 2015 / 9:07 am

    Oh, and i have read that book. It’s not too long, but it’s REALLY good. I quite enjoyed it!

  5. Natalie Peck McNamara
    January 23, 2015 / 10:27 am

    My 2 boys Mr8 and Mr11 pee standing io with their aim is definitely not at accurate as it is in the basketball court when shooting for goals. And don’t get get started with my youngest free balling all the time … Lol

  6. January 23, 2015 / 11:31 am

    I am the same, one of 3 with TWO boys who LOVE their ‘friend’ with all their heart. I have taught my boys to sit down to wee also because of MESS. When in public toilets or when it’s required they stand. Until their aim is better I want it that way. Thanks for the laugh..

  7. January 23, 2015 / 3:08 pm

    Have you gone through the penis obsession phase yet? All my boys went through a stage (at about age 3) when they became obsessed with who did and who did not have a penis. We would be out somewhere in public and they would ask in clear piercing voices, “Mummy, does that man (pointing) have a penis?” It only lasted for a few weeks, but it felt like a lifetime!!

  8. January 23, 2015 / 3:15 pm

    Lol! I laughed at the puns Eva. Being a mum to three girls this will be an experience I will happily miss. X

  9. Lara at This Charming Mum
    January 23, 2015 / 9:21 pm

    Ha ha Eva! I’m struggling with this two after having 2 daughters with familiar ‘parts’ and now a son going through all the discovery and toilet training etc. I think we’ll be learning together to some extent!

  10. Tash from Gift Grapevine
    January 24, 2015 / 1:25 am

    I’m the same as you Eva. My poor Dad is severely outnumbered – 3 daughters, 5 granddaughters and then along came my Mr TT. No one in our family quite knows what to do with a boy! He is a big fan of his “doodle” and he understands who in our family has one and who doesn’t. We’re a few months away from toilet training so I look forward to your updates. I’m going to need all the help I can get!

  11. Grace
    January 26, 2015 / 11:06 am

    My boys are playing with their willys all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. I’ve decided I’m just not going to make a big issue about it because most importantly, I don’t want them to become self conscious. As a consequence, I think they are now overtly (overly) proud of their doodles. LOL!

  12. January 27, 2015 / 7:05 am

    Oh my, that made me laugh! I’m sure you’re doing a great job. My main penis concern is having to constantly shout things like “get your penis away from your sister”. It seems they think they are hilarious tools of terrorism from an early age, and I see it as my job to ensure this is out of his system by the time he is out in the world on his own.