The heart wrenching and unparalleled pain of motherhood #MummyMondays

the heart wrenching and unparalleled pain of motherhood

Today I’m linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess with the prompt being ‘I have never’ but I’ve turned it around a little.

This is not going to be a post where I tell you that I’ve never bungee jumped, had stitches or fallen down the stairs in a grandstand, twice, on the same day and in the same spot (actually, the last one is true).

This post is a little bit mushier than that because, well, I’m not too good at ‘funny’.

But in all seriousness, never have I EVER loved someone the way I love my son. This love, well, it’s heart wrenching,  my heart aches, it’s a love unlike any other.

Never in a million years did I imagine I would have the love I do for him. The only way I can show the love I have for Elliott is through hugs, through kisses and by doing what I can for him. There have been so many times when I have wished there was some sort of magical power that allowed me to exude my love in a greater and more powerful form because, a lot of the time, hugs and kisses just don’t seem enough.

And, the day will come, when he’s going to be sick of my hugs and kisses. Oh, I dread that day!

Never had I ever imagined my little boy would bring me so much happiness and so much inspriation.

Never had I imagined my little boy would have such a tender little heart, a heart that I would come to absolutely adore.  A boy with a  gentle and sensitive little soul who wouldn’t hurt a fly and who speaks with the utmost sincerity in everything he says, especially when he says ‘I’m sorry Mummy.’

Never had I imagined that I’d have a little friend whom I’d share in-depth conversations with, laugh with and have fun with. A 4-year-old who consoles me when he knows something is wrong with his mummy.

As the eldest of three girls, never had I imagined that I’d be OK with mud and dirt,  that I’d sit watching monster trucks and actually enjoy it, that I’d manage to survive the never ending GO GO GO of an energetic little boy. It’s kept me on my toes, that’s for sure.

Never did I consider that I would be the centre of my son’s world. Oh yes, he loves his daddy dearly, but it’s always Mummy for that reassuring hug, that kiss good night, that softly sung twinkle twinkle little star and the cuddles in Mummy’s bed when he’d rather not go to bed alone.

Never did I imagine that one day my little boy would also be the centre of my world and would transform me for the better, into the woman I am today.

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Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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18 Comments

  1. February 8, 2016 / 6:52 am

    And Eva, it multiplies with each child you grow. So happy that you will experience this soon! Motherhood is wonderful and infinitelty rewarding. Such a sweet post. X

    • February 8, 2016 / 4:28 pm

      And that is a completely different post I have up my sleeve, my fear of not loving my second child as much. Thanks Jody. x

  2. February 8, 2016 / 7:10 am

    This is beautiful. My eldest son is about to turn 13 and at high school now yet every night and every morning he gives me a big kiss and hug and tells me he loves me. I love it more than he will ever understand.

    • February 8, 2016 / 4:28 pm

      I’m so glad to hear that your 13 year old son still gives you hugs and kisses and tells you he loves you. I really needed to read that, I just don’t want it to ever stop!

  3. February 8, 2016 / 1:27 pm

    I’m glad you didn’t do funny because this is just beautiful. I only seem to be able to write flippant and funny and wish I could write heartfelt stuff like this. I feel the same way about all 3 of my boys. Also I didn’t know you were expecting, so a belated congratulations from me! xo

    • February 8, 2016 / 4:27 pm

      Thanks so much Ness. I was worried it was a bit too mushy, but it was definitely from the heart and that’s what I want to share more of. It seems I’m very much the opposite to you, I wish I could write funny stuff but I’m more serious and just can’t do it for the life of me without sounding like a complete moron. Yes, I’m almost 17 weeks. Thanks a bunch. x

  4. February 8, 2016 / 1:59 pm

    Lovely post, love my kids to the moon and back but sometimes I’d happily sell them to the gypsies. Life’s full of ups and downs, hey??

    • February 8, 2016 / 4:25 pm

      Oh thanks so much Vicki. Yeah, I get what you mean by wanting to sell them, but when they’re little angels again, we quickly forget the devil part. 🙂

  5. February 8, 2016 / 6:41 pm

    Such a gorgeous post Eva – so glad you turned around the prompt and produced such lovely words for your son x

  6. February 8, 2016 / 8:14 pm

    Eva this is absolutely gorgeous. I realise that I didn’t know the depths of love until I had my son. It’s cliche but it’s so true.

  7. February 8, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    I can totally relate to all these feelings Eva {albeit with a girl}. I could never imagine how strong my love for her would be.

  8. Mel Roworth
    April 11, 2016 / 5:51 pm

    Keep up the hugging! My son is 13 now, communication is at an all time low but the hugs still say so much.