Have you ever heard of a push present? A present some women receive from their partner or husband for giving birth to their child and it’s usually not any old gift, but something of value like a piece of jewellery and most often something with diamonds.
I was absolutely gobsmacked today by an article I read that was written by woman who was 34 weeks pregnant who felt she was entitled to a piece of jewellery for a ‘push’ present, right down to actually having picked what she wanted so she could tell her husband.
“But really, what is the problem? I spoke to my friend about this and turns out she is on the “other” side. “Isn’t the baby the best present?” It’s fine, I won’t judge her. She hasn’t gone through pregnancy and had to look at her swollen veiny belly every morning in the shower. And, for the record, no a baby isn’t a gift. Yes, they are wonderful and cute and I can’t wait for my baby to come into the world. But I know when baby comes, my life will be change for ever, and they will steal my sleep. Presents don’t do that.”
Quite frankly, I’m not quite sure why this woman decided to have a baby in the first place. I wonder if she got everything she wanted when she was younger?
Since learning about push presents, I could never really understand why some women felt they were entitled to such a gift. I am like this woman’s friend, I believe that the baby is the gift and to this day, my son is the biggest gift I’ve ever received in life. And don’t get me wrong, I’m talking about a sense of entitlement and the woman asking for the present and not when a husband goes out of his way to give a gift as a surprise.
I tend to feel sorry for some husbands/partners, it seems as though they are often forgotten when it comes to these types of things and the likes of the eternity ring and engagement ring. What present does he get for having to go through the perils of a newborn too?
When it comes down to it, isn’t about hoping for a healthy child? Isn’t it about being grateful that our children are born into a loving family and somewhere they can be safe? To me it’s about putting things into perspective and thinking about life itself. There are places in Africa where the women are so far from any health facilities that their only option is to have birth at home without a skilled health worker or to walk kilometers mid labour to the nearest health facility. There are some women that can’t have children at all or who have gone through their pregnancy only to lose their child.
These women are the ones that deserve a present, they have endured much more emotional and physical pain than most woman must go through.
I don’t think there’s any piece of jewellery or gift that could replace the joy and positive changes my son has brought into my life and it’s this joy that makes all the pain, sleepless nights, post natal depression and dirty nappies so easy to forget.
What do you think of the push present trend? Did you receive a surprise push present?
Today I’m linking up with Jess for IBOT