I Want My 28 Year Old Body Back NOW! And Other Thoughts From Pump Class.

pump class

I turn up to the gym for the first pump class (or any gym class for that matter)  in over a year. I also hadn’t been exercising much at all, I’m the most out of shape I have been.  This is what went through my head.
 

Gee, look at that class. That looks really hard, look at how hard those people are working. I don’t think I will ever do that class, too hard.

5 minutes to go. I think I’ll set up in the front, no actually, maybe the second row.

What if I don’t remember how to do it? What if I make myself look like an idiot? Bloody hell. 

Ok, so I’ll just get the lightest weights they have. How high should I put my step? I’ll go low, I think I’ll go low. 

I don’t think being in the second row is a good idea, what are the people behind me going to see? Will they look at my butt?

I hope they can’t see my undies as I bend over like the lady in the class before this. Thank god I’m not wearing floral undies like she did. What undies am I wearing?

‘Anyone in here that hasn’t done a Pump Class before’. No, I won’t put my hand up. I’ve done it before, just a long time ago. They won’t be able to tell.

Right, warm up. I can do this.

I feel surprisingly good. Good on me.  I can do this. 

Oh my god. The legs. I hate the legs. I can do this.

Oh crap, I don’t think I can do this. The pain, oh the pain. It’s friggin burning. I don’t know how many more squats I can do.  Please don’t cramp up, please don’t cramp.

‘Shake your legs out everyone and give them a stretch’. Ahhh…break, a break! 

Ok, I like biceps. Ooh, I can put more weights on, this is easy. Thanks Elliott for making me pick you up multiple times a day since birth, you’re making this easy for mummy. Yuk, sweat is dripping from my elbows. I hope no one saw that. 

Far out, the bloody legs again. I hate legs, especially lunges. 

‘Slow down for 3 and up for 2’. Are you kidding me instructor.

Turn the fat back into muscle. Turn the fat back into muscle.

Shit, I just can’t keep doing it, I need to stop, I’m shaking. ‘Come on, no one should be beating me up to the top’. Stuff you instructor, don’t you realise I’m out of practice here, can you feel my pain? 

‘Ok stretch it out’. Oh my god, I am so out of shape. 

Oh, it’s the abs. That means we’re nearly finished. Thank god for the abs, I get to lay down.

Go away mummy tummy. Am I doing this right? I can’t feel anything. Is it because there’s nothing there? 

Stretch and finish.

Get home. 

God I feel great, I’m so glad I went. Yay me!

Next morning. 

I’m not as sore as I thought, I can actually get out of bed and I’m not hobbling around. Gee, that’s pretty good but maybe I didn’t work hard enough? Maybe I didn’t do it right? 

The morning after that. 

Oh shit. This is what everyone was talking about.I can’t bloody move!

The morning after the morning after the morning after….

I can’t believe I’m still sore. I don’t like this, I want my 28 year old body back..NOW!

 

Sound familiar?

 

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

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Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)

Eva is the Editor and Owner of The Multitasking Woman - a lifestyle and parenting blog.She always has her fingers in many different pies but wouldn't have it any other way. Eva is a Mum to her 4-year-old son, 2 month old daughter, two chickens, one dog and a fish called Bob and a wife to Mr G. They all live happily in their little cottage on the outskirts of Brisbane.

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22 Comments

  1. Ingrid - fabulous and fun life
    January 27, 2015 / 7:50 am

    Hehehe! I recently went through exactly the same conversation in my head! By the end of my first step class back in forever I’d downgraded from my low step to just doing the routine on floor level, no step involved!

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:06 pm

      oMG step class! I did it once and vow never to do it again because I am extremely uncoordinated

  2. January 27, 2015 / 9:14 am

    I teach pump a couple of times a week and it is even hard for me! That day two soreness is the worst!

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:05 pm

      Actually that’s one of the thoughts I didn’t include ‘how does this instructor do it, and how after doing a class beforehand!’

  3. January 27, 2015 / 11:08 am

    Hahaha, oh yes, I totally hear this! The morning after the morning after is the absolute worst! Damn you DOMS!!! #teamIBOT

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:04 pm

      So glad I’m not the only one!

  4. Simplify.Create
    January 27, 2015 / 11:15 am

    haha Love it! And yes it’s always that delayed pain that sneaks up just when you think you’ve gotten through. I have never done an exercise class so I would be the most uncoordinated person in the room. Lucky I have an excuse… 22 weeks pregnant means I can sit on my ass and be lazy (doesn’t it?). Good on you.

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:04 pm

      Yep, sounds like a perfectly good excuse to me!

  5. January 27, 2015 / 11:20 am

    Go girl. I’d settle for my 38 year old body back. Actually I’m the fittest I’ve been in a long time and I’m 46. Just keep that running commentary going in your head and you’ll blitz it.

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:03 pm

      Thanks! I must admit, from your photos I’ve seen you look damn fab!

  6. January 27, 2015 / 1:08 pm

    I can’t even. That is all. x

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:03 pm

      Haha 😉

  7. January 27, 2015 / 6:00 pm

    Lol! Sounds like me! I’m doing first boot camp session next week. I would love my 28 yr old body back!

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:03 pm

      Boot camp! Go Cindy and good luck!

  8. January 27, 2015 / 7:25 pm

    This sounds all too familiar. And what is it with the abs exercises – I think I must be doing them wrong too.

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:02 pm

      I just think there’s a lot of mummy tummy to get rid if before I even get to the muscles!

  9. January 27, 2015 / 7:57 pm

    I don’t do gym or exercise classes, much prefer my own company when exerting energy. And yes! I would love my 28 year old body back? Right now!

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:02 pm

      Oh I’ve tried my own thing and it just doesn’t seem to work. I always talk myself out of it!

  10. January 27, 2015 / 8:10 pm

    Ha ha!! I think we have all lived this to some degree! The last hard work out I did, I was so glad that my house was built by old people who had a bar installed in the toilet to get up and down. I needed that bar!!

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:01 pm

      Oh there have been so many times I’ve needed a bar and instead I have a 3 year old that wants me to pick him up all the time!

  11. January 27, 2015 / 9:40 pm

    Lol! Love this. I thought I was the only one who had a crazy internal dialogue like that while at the gym!

    • January 29, 2015 / 9:00 pm

      I have crazy internal dialogue all the time actually. Might be a bit too deep and crazy to share here 🙂